deal or no deal

lying on the sofa staring at the TV, but technically nothing.

chewing on the potato chips and thinking of shopping.

everyday the same except weekend night-out

this morning

T looked different, oh wait, its not that he looked different, its the way he looked at me was different. Mixed with annoying and helpless elements kind of look.

so he pulled out a piece of blank paper and a pen

he said, we need to stop this kind of empty life.

"why dont you start to write down your 3 month objective?

I thought you really wanna open up your own boutique? why dont you start to to the preparation work?" he kept going on about the same subject for a solid 30 minutes, just accused me how irresponsible and lazy i am.

"I will" I responded with an impatient tone and looked down awkwardly.

" So do you actually believe that the retail space will come to find you, not other way around?"

well, I wish I was that NAIVE. Of course, i know i need to go out there and make the deal.

started to recall when was the very last time i did put some efforts on my up-coming store

that was last week, while i was tipsy and asked Grace about the retail space hunting stuff in PEGU CLUB.(its actually more like a lounge)

I sink back into the pillows on the sofa with a great sigh.

My head is swirling with a lot of thoughts.

but really

What am i doing? sitting around doing nothing? when i have a so very huge project for me to start off. i mean, yeh, i want it, that is what i want to do. More than that, it's my dream!

it's not like i flinch or anything

Ok

i will make a real, real effort

give me 3 months

it will be all set.