慢活.實.非時

2010 我要慢活 樂活
二十五歲的期許 是要充實
用心感受每一個當下
化被動為主動
主動去做好每一件事
積極的充實自己
告別渾渾噩噩的日子 和狼吞虎嚥的生活方式
享受樂活的美

here and there

dont know if me being cranky has to do with anything
it may just being a headup for my upcoming period
or another sign to show the fact that im still not quite capable of dealing with pressure
i will soon be 25 years old, and it feels like...
have i done everything to be able to say, yehhh, ive been there, and done all that?
總覺得有種喘不過氣的感覺
以前到現在追求的還是一樣嗎
尚未準備好 卻必須面對時間的緊迫逼人
感到手足無措 是因為對未來的不確定 還是對現在的不安份
或許我所需要的是抓住一個中間值
想要什麼 似乎也不是考慮的重點了
如果人生變得只容許選擇需要
那有什麼意義
還是這是我終於看清現實的一種妥協
但妥協 不是我
我喜歡自由自在的逆向前進

突然想起媽咪上個月對我血拼後不滿說的
"買東西不能什麼都想要 買需要的比較實際
現在想要 以後都變垃圾"
到了25歲
我還是跟五年前一樣 被念一樣的

但我心裡想
我追求的是感官上一時的快感
垃圾不垃圾 不是我考慮的重點

我逃避大人似的思考
因為
我討厭做出rational的決定 壓抑自我irrational的慾望所帶來的刺激快樂

and i cant agree more with what T told me last night
"You get to do whatever you like coz you got nothing to lose."
我總是想追求另一個階段的突破
自我和生活上

當我發現越長越大 生活越平靜無聊大家越把他歸類為 平凡的幸福
憑什麼 i dont buy that.

I guess i just figured my philosophy, just like how i shop
Price could be an issue, but what i concern of is if i am able to be the buyer/ winning bidder
give me all the funs, and when it becomes another trash i am tired of
i will kick it away without any second thought.
Surely, nothing could last, that's what i hope to see
it applies to not only an object but all the other else.

呀

到紐約第三天

發現自己已經從homesick又自然而然的愛上紐約的自由愜意

sharp but familiar

tough but sexy

complicated but sophisticated

the city filled with variety of demographics

the light is still so amazingly bright no matter how dark the night gets.

i am surrounded in a city i would never get tired of.

無力沒感

身處在一個又亂加髒的家中
我今天沒力清理
繼續假裝沒這回事
不就是我最拿手的嗎
繼續放大我的感覺 任性的有理化我那站不住腳的藉口
就像我那放肆的生活態度
雖然常與矛盾情結起衝突
卻也能若無其事的欣賞它的美
硬生生的享受 那熟悉到不行的
無力感

distance

never thought how New York City and Taipei could b so closed
just as simple as drawing a straight line from point A to point B
just like going across a street
so closed that it feels like they are unbelivably only
one block away.
seems to me like Only a block away,
but I missed Taipei already, indeed, im already deeply homesick.

Indeed,.....

i wouldnt tag myself with the label of superstition
surely im not like anti-superstition
i guess, half and half
but
seriously
Lately
there has been nothing else but tiny craps here and there in a roll
no big issue
but again, many and many tiny stuff kept coming to me
which have annoyed the shit out of me
just like the horoscope 2010 prediction i read this morning
well thanks god, January is about to be over soon
wooooooo saaaaaaah

happy New YeaR ;D 2010!!!!

在醉到不行下 圓滿的迎接另一個新的開始：）

everything else goes well besides....

My original dress got torn up at the back completely (special thanks to Sherry...)

I got fucked up drunk and started to pop couple super dry-yet-bitter jokes to every stranger (Regard to Sherry, my unconscious critical jokes could easily get myself killed by others at any second.)

Traffic was blocked because T was too drunk to function like a normal human being, decided to fuking dance in the middle of the road forever

I literally cried two times the whole night for feeling ashamed

when my dress was broken, and when T was dancing passionately in the middle of road like a freak and refused to leave.