Breathless

I feel I can't breathe well

What am I feared of?

What I feared was how Wonderful things could turn out so ugly and unfamiliar?

What I saw and what I felt was so unbelievably harmful, why? 

Why now? Why all of the sudden?

What did I do?

Why does he turn out to be like this?

Cold and mean

I don't know if he's the same person I fell in love with anymore. 

I am so tired of wondering

I am so sick of saying any word 

So tired

And awful

Beyond Longlyness, it's disappointing.

Like a trash

That's it

Like a trash

All I saw was his back walking towards outside 

And until his back was completely out of my sight 

I realized I needed to carry my belongings with me to the lift

That's it

Without a good bye.

What do I expect, welcome to the life.

I couldn't help but wonder

What exactly had I done to deserve this?

To be treated like a trash.

I thought I gave it all in, and showed the real me, I thought that's it. This gotta b the happy ending. 

Yeh, That's it. Like that.

Not even enough time or logic for me to figure, and that's it.

At This very moment ,Only my belongings were left right besides me. That's it. 

It's not a happy ending, but an unexpected one. 

So what? YEs what? no what?

不知道
還是很害怕  說不在乎是騙自己的
可是這就是人生
不討人喜歡又怎樣
at least i tried at least thats whom i am
Being naked is never my thing, i mean mentally, surely neither physically
but yeh i tend to protect what i truly love or treasure ever since i was a little kid
it's a if you do then, you do it, if you don't, then f it.

i am scared of judgement because i am a judgemental person
OMG im sick of deny deny deny
living in my own world

Just do it.

Say no more

I no longer know if I have the strength to deal with it

Or defense myself

Whatever

I don't want to be opened to you anymore. 

Like two strangers who hold their own emotions and feelings back

Depress them but it's always there

I was horrified to hear all that

You know my weakness, I hate it, and you keep doing it.

I'm sorry I'm scared to face you again

At least not for now.

Photoshop project

努力學習

The More I see

If
there is a dramatic time phrase for ppl to outgrow during their life
i would say mine is this year, when im am already bloody 29 years old.



This time, i decided to face/accept all the goods and the bads as peacefully as I could
                       instead of feeding myself with denial denial denial and denial


The truth could be ugly
The game could get tricky
The clutter could be vague




Here you go, Christine
                                           Stay Naive, but be Smart
                                      Stay Harmless, but be Sharp
                  Stay Spontaneously Playful, but Always be Responsible

Start by Starting

When you walk away from a table, make sure you are prepared to walk away from the table

Enough's enough

I'm done 

Was the only line across my mind when the words blurred out 

That's when I found out that what the most important thing in the world

Is not how fancy the title you are entitled to 

Nor is how much money you make

whom you spend it with, every day, is 

Ciao my 20s

Never say NeVErrrrr

But good Bye

;)

Yes I'm a sweetheart, I'm sweet, kind and harmless.

But Don't ever mess with me

Otherwise

I will be the sweetest bitch you've ever known in your life.

Mmm

i feel like
absolutely dont want to do anything else besides sitting my ass right at where i am now

Frankly speaking,
it is an art to distribute the right amt of energy into Work, Career, Love, Friendship, and Family.

Prioritize, discipline, .....

be Grateful, Cheerful, Peaceful
with Positive attitude and thinking

i can do whatever i want, and get whatever i demand.
Now go get it Tiger.

Speechless

Words couldn't even express my feelings

I could only be silent

I didn't want you to know how foolish and childish I am

I don't want you to know how much I miss you

How desperate I am to see you

I could only swallow the loneliness myself

I don't even want to say a word

Coz whatever I said sounds like 狡辯to you

I feel so hurtful 

I had my make up on for nothing

But it's okay

I'm not good with words

I feel hurtful coz your words are mean 

I wanted to feel that you do care for me, so I said it that way.

But whatever

Doesn't matter coz he believes in what he wants to believe.

him

I just wanna say that
this may sound disgusting or whatsoever

I want to be with you
i mean physically go to the same home with you

i want to get to cuddle with you, get to see you all the time, get to be with you for most of the time
perhaps it's too much to ask for
considering that we don't either own or afford an our own apt in town

I don't know maybe it has to do with my past
i want to be in the same house with my love one
so that i get to see his lovely face every morning
if not my beloved one, then thats like hell No no.

i wish one day
we would have our own flat
which is decorated by me with cozy-and-modern style with s touch of Retro
In this cozy happy flat, not only has two people who are in love,
but they also have a cute fuzzy doggie whose name is Max.

I would try to entertain my partner(Max's master), cook for him, please him, and laugh with him
we shall laugh, make fun of, inspire, challenge, and make love with each other

I dont know
it sounds too perfect to be true.
It's better we left the story to be continued spontaneously... as it is, and as it will be.
It's not my style to picture something with imaginary expectation.
i only care about my feeling, at this right moment, Now-now.
I only give a damn about what i am certain of.
which is i like him a lot, i wish i could be with him all the time haha.

Why even bother

I don't know why I even bothered to ask

I don't like his response

And it's not like he's ever gonna change his response for his past relationship 

I mean what kind of obstacle was that

Love could solve anything if there is any

What upsets me is that he might like her more than he does towards me

Why didn't you persist if you really liked her that much

Tried to change her parents' perception or whatsoever

So annoying

Your so-called love is so fragile 

Fab Feb 2014

Am I ever gonna be good enough

It seems like i am just not good enough for him
Surely i am having some bad habits that i would like to get rid of myself

I completely agree with those habits are bad 
but what makes me feel down is that the feeling of i am just not good enough 

I want more encouragement
Can you at least give me some credits instead of telling me how terrible i am?
Even Management 101 teaches you that
When you intend to let your employer to know there is certain adjustment she has to make or whatever
you need to tell her how good she is so she knows that
she is NOT completely worthless 

Good life

I have so much to feel good about

Everything 

Thank you God.

Old time new age

28 years had passed by

Another stage 

Same old smile different story

Same old mind with different perspective behind

I try not to draw myself into the darkish grey area

Let's just focus on this very moment

Without letting any memory/experience/stereotype/expectation/judgement/reflection

To interfere with this very pure naive reunion moment

Perhaps it's just me

Perhaps my self-pity, fear, and disappointment at myself

24 years back from that overly happy moment with beloved everyone under the sun in Rome

Til now

Despite the fact that we may outgrow each other 

But

What exactly have I accomplished? 

What's my contribution?

Have I ever made my family proud?

Happy 2014

I am thankful

I could hardly believe that

I am with someone that I truly adore and bloody like

Omg I just can't thank God enough

This is mad.

Unsettled feelings...

I can't quite figure out what he wants from me

And I hate it...

Like I'm so tired of playing any dramatic trick or mind blowing game

I just don't have the time or energy for it coz I know how unpleasant the downfall could be and I'm certainly not up for it.

It's one way or another.

And I need to know within one week.

So save ur unclear confusing mixed messages to urself

It's either double or nothing

One way or another

Fuk the in-betweens