the need 4

got this whim this morning...this sneaky sudden urge...

to go traveling

Virgin island is great,

Vegas is not bad either,

i haven't left New York for almost a year now.

And I have to book to go somewhere tonight.

Seriously, i need it.

leather leather

逆向

可能是因為大姨媽來

情緒再度陷入緊繃

tonight, something made me to Again realized...

I can no longer escape from the reality

no matter how crucial it may seems like

it's not like i could just go ahead crawl into my bed, and hoped everything would be fine tomorrow

the root of this cynical cycle is

i always deceive myself into the theory of " Tomorrow is Another Day."

just to avoid the pain-in-the-ass I may have to overcome

always deny deny and deny

never dare to face it.

but now, I have to.

yeh Being a grownup is a pain in the ass

i hate that i can not forever live in the Wonderland

but i will face it

no matter how pain-in-the-ass it will be

no matter how bothersome it is.

I will overcome it coz i think i am more than capable

Nothing can bring me down!

Nothing at all.

fuzzy

got in my warm UGG boots, and wrapped myself in my furry vintage faux coat
my so-called fuzzy cozy casual outfit that im super comfortable in
but still in a lousy hangover condition from last night
T and I went to Darbar, our favorite Indian restaurant near the house

despite the cold windy night with some light rain on the way there
i admit that for a few seconds my slight headache did give me a downbeat feeling of absolutely empty regard to what happened the night before,
another Fri-nite-lets-get-all-drunk-n-act-nothing-but-stupid weekly routine

but i guess that i cant deny i do have the need for the whole loosen up thing every once a while
nothing to be shame of
it's not quite healthy to be all uptight
open up relax and enjoy
and who cares?

And...just a little note to myself
Sometimes it's not about who or what surround or happen to me that makes anything worse or better
it's myself.
The attitude I have
could change everything.
Why bother to be unecessary sensitive?
I am more than pleased with myself and my life.
feeling delighted
will keep my chin up
and be positive and cheerful all the time.

我沒差

人與人之間本來就糾纏不清

的確是

就像很多事 我跟本懶得去care

but i have to at certain point

嘗試著 不針對 任何人事物 做任何的負面判斷

a big chunk of it is that i really can not care less

From my point of view, friend is for someone who is lonely and seeking for supports

and of course, we are all that naive.

Right?

a night with green tea

3:30 am

the freezing air and the sudden urge to food

woke me up

rushed myself into the kitchen

Grabbed the half-way-cold double cheese burger

got myself a hot green tea

another cold night

I found myself with

the warmness, the urge, the eager, the desperation, ..

pulling me back and forth

not so much the physical hunger kept me awake

but the intolerable inner needs.

hi again, chaos

Lately, my emotions have been in a state of ChaOs...

I dont even bother to feel defensive anymore.

it comes and goes, and i watch it happens and convince myself that i enjoy the ride.

Fall/Winter inspirations

superior attitude

4:25 am

i feel extremely superior

in a Bloody GOOD mood

That was like a boost for my energy and alive soul

i mean, seriously,

i sense that the BEST is YET to COME!!!!

YES!!!!

sinking

i tried to convince myself that I cant care LESS

I tried

But feeling no better, still see myself sinking

sinking sinking and sinking

maybe i should stop blaming on bad fortune

why dont I just face the truth of myself being a pretentious yet drained rat.

mindless, shallow, fickle, dull,...

always feeling inferior of myself

sorry, Christine, i feel pathetic for you.

and please

can you stop falling apart?

oh yes, we can roCk

禮拜四晚上

一杯早已冷掉的黑咖啡, 一杯1/5滿的ＳＡＫＥ

秋天的冷空氣 讓我有紐約已經冬天的錯覺

五天 沒有手機 沒有錢包 沒有白色針織外套 更沒有ＣＨＡＮＥＬ包

喔 Actually我本身不太需要手機

suddenly, it hits me

feeling incredibly awful that the cell phone is the last thing i need.

Today's schedule

1. Morning Class
2. Nail Spa
3. Buy Sake
4. Walk the dog