2009年12月30日 星期三

the usual stuff

Lately,
nothing too dramatic happened
the usual, as always

got too into scoring in online video game, obsessively pathetic
which comes along with back pain

arguments with my significant other here and there,
again, the usual

hmnnn bye 2009,
after tomorrow you will become another lovely history.

2009年12月20日 星期日

Snow Storm

It all started from...
Being awake from my beauty sleep for 2/3 of the entire Saturday
at 11:43pm (wow..almost Sunday)
While sitting on my toilet seat and looking out of the window to avoid the boredom
surprisingly, i saw there was heavy snow in the air outside
an overwhelming thrill of sensing the Christmas is almost here
i rush out to blur this news out like a child

and that was where made the rest of the night gone entirely wrong
first of all, i highly doubted that hideous idea at the first place of bringing the snowboard for Tienan to sled for
but i maintained silence.
and then...
what was i thinking to agree on taking those dogs to central park when there was a freaking snow storm?
Bravo,
I almost got myself killed half way to Central park with a layer of snow covered on my entire face
barely could see what was ahead of me
and thanks god my lovely partner was the one dragged by highly-active Tienan
it was freazing to death
i almost lost my ears, well pretty much every part of my sensation felt nothing but unbearable pain.
and the wind was insanely strong around the park
we almost got ourselves killed, and apparently my dog was the only one seems to enjoy it all.
I couldn't even figure if the cold wetness on my face was from the snow or my tears
what a disaster
It was a miracle that we made it back to our home sweet home.

2009年12月12日 星期六

the worst

the most terrifying addictive habits a person could ever get
is being
Lazy n dependable.
It could bring you down badly
makes you go into an ugly cycle
and you can hardly to find a way out.

im on rehab.
Hopefully, this time i will not go back for more.

A Men's conversation

Man A: ....OK, so who calls the shots in your house?
Man B: I do, but i know she's not going to like this.
Man A: She doesnt have to like it. Women respond to authority and leadership.
They may say they don't, but they do.
Man C: Your wide responds to that?
Man B: Who? Mine?
My wife has nothing to do with this. We are talking about his wife.

2009年12月9日 星期三

Hardly Surprising

I'm sure of it.
sooner i will be quite my usual self again.
What bothers me now is in fact hardly worthwhile to even mention
how silly is that, it really repels me
how awful.

at the meanwhile, she is probably still out there somewhere at the hunting ground
struggling like a desperate spiteful animal
trying to search for a master to feed her empty soul.

how pitiful
to cover herself with full of pretense

I can see the look from her eyes, underneath that smile,
self-consolation is still her only companion.

2009年12月7日 星期一

special kid

i am a special kid with a gift:)

Rock IT!

Only because i am still in school,

Just wait and C.
2010, i will rock it hard!

take it Easy

as a result of overwhelming school work
as the fact that Christmas is soon to come
which means this semester is closely to be over
i got another sleepless night.
mainly, is caused by the tension, the pressure, and i dont know..
the excitement of looking forward to the end of this semester?
All i wanted to say to myself is
Take it Easy, tiger!!

new things


Tie-Nan doggie key chain, and my Cat Woman Ring!

2009年12月6日 星期日

my son's life






halloween photos



我扮演的是一隻 呆瓜頭貓!!耶呼






photos from Nov.





2009年12月4日 星期五

和強納森的meaningless MSN對話

C says:
老公出去打POKER了
希望他幫我帶個吃的回來
JON says:
那不錯阿
他還是有自己的生活
C says:
家裡的熱狗都吃完了
JON says:
一直黏著很膩
C says:
屁啦
我就喜歡看他在家裡沒事陪我
JON says:
看來你需要更多寵物


C says:

我和我老公的性生活is based on 股市
JON says:
部賴阿
JON says:
你應該幫你的black berry灌個bloomberg
C says:

工作狂!!?

...................
not really.
I doubt that i will ever b labeled with that.

真的只有堅強的工作 才能擁有堅強的生活嘛?

hello, chaos!

一股焦躁感
是聖誕節前恐慌症嘛?
under the pressure, 卻又有種想豁出去怎樣我就這樣 fuck consequences的感覺
不是為了任何效果
就只是 let it be
我鍾愛黑咖啡 也喜歡白開水
為什麼連最基本的平衡點都迷失
無法亂中有序
或許 活在混亂和矛盾中
可以稱之為所謂的 the element of imperfection
too essential to be sensational
no need to b hysterical
love n peace

rebellion






self-enforcement

常常覺得
很多事情
大家都習慣強迫性灌輸
對自己們

是謊言或誠實 似乎並不重要

what really matters
is
how you deliberately tell yourself what you want to hear
to reinforce what you want to believe.

2009年11月28日 星期六

莫名

莫名其妙的 低迷又上火狀態
心情像顆洩了氣的皮球
.....我不懂
為什麼 我的inner system is so moody and uncertain

grr....

....sigh

溺 膩 逆
and

2009年11月26日 星期四

yes, i like THE bAsTarD


Mr. Bastard,
entertain me
Surprise me
make it go rough, ugly, and the worst
destroy my last hope for humanity
hurt my soul bad
let's see if i could have some tears for you

Player, are you ready to be my entertainment?

2009年11月17日 星期二

blk Friday

sadly, it was that lame commercial again
a late 40s overweighted man talking abt how he's gonna take a great benefit from this coming blk friday
just as all the other new yorkers would do
i deliberately touched the volume off on the monitor in another cab
....black friday blow out sale
what i had missed for the past two years
apparently
so will this year
painfully let it slip away.

2009年11月16日 星期一

22

I am in love with this song

When she was 22 the future looked bright
But she's nearly 30 now
and she's out every night
I see that look in her face
she's got that look in her eye
She's thinking how did I get here
and wondering why

It's sad but it's true how society says
Her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
Til the man of her dreams comes along picks her up
and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

She's got an alright job
but it's not a career
Wherever she thinks about it,
it brings her to tears
Cause all she wants is a boyfriend
She gets one-night stands
She's thinking how did I get here
I'm doing all that I can

It's sad but it's true how society says
Her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
Til the man of her dreams comes along picks her up
and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

It's sad but it's true how society says
Her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
Til the man of her dreams comes along picks her up
and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

2009年11月13日 星期五

guilt trIp

having a major guilt trip right now...
when i slowly realized....
when people around me, dont act like i do
when i started to value money in a different perspective
when i have started to save my secret stack little by little
money is no longer just some number

it actually weights more than price tags.

2009年11月2日 星期一

y so serious

why shall i be serious?
for this, that, and that!
when seriousness reach to certain point, it comes along with some unpleasant emotion, furious
and sooner or later, it transfers into something called, disappointment.
i guess i am in a stage of Maturity
when the unexpected sort of no longer shocking me
and know better to hold nothing such as expectations or what-if scenario
like an outsider viewing a dreadful firm called, my life.
so terribly screen written that there is no climax nor anywhere interesting enough to intrigue myself.
just like watching a trashy movie without getting myself with any emotion involvement
the saddest part is
i dont even bother to reach the remote control to switch the channel when i dont even care to know about the ending.


2009年10月22日 星期四

the need 4

got this whim this morning...this sneaky sudden urge...
to go traveling
Virgin island is great,
Vegas is not bad either,
i haven't left New York for almost a year now.
And I have to book to go somewhere tonight.
Seriously, i need it.

leather leather









2009年10月19日 星期一

逆向

可能是因為大姨媽來
情緒再度陷入緊繃
tonight, something made me to Again realized...
I can no longer escape from the reality
no matter how crucial it may seems like
it's not like i could just go ahead crawl into my bed, and hoped everything would be fine tomorrow
the root of this cynical cycle is
i always deceive myself into the theory of " Tomorrow is Another Day."
just to avoid the pain-in-the-ass I may have to overcome
always deny deny and deny
never dare to face it.
but now, I have to.
yeh Being a grownup is a pain in the ass
i hate that i can not forever live in the Wonderland

but i will face it
no matter how pain-in-the-ass it will be
no matter how bothersome it is.
I will overcome it coz i think i am more than capable
Nothing can bring me down!
Nothing at all.

2009年10月18日 星期日

fuzzy

got in my warm UGG boots, and wrapped myself in my furry vintage faux coat
my so-called fuzzy cozy casual outfit that im super comfortable in
but still in a lousy hangover condition from last night
T and I went to Darbar, our favorite Indian restaurant near the house

despite the cold windy night with some light rain on the way there
i admit that for a few seconds my slight headache did give me a downbeat feeling of absolutely empty regard to what happened the night before,
another Fri-nite-lets-get-all-drunk-n-act-nothing-but-stupid weekly routine

but i guess that i cant deny i do have the need for the whole loosen up thing every once a while
nothing to be shame of
it's not quite healthy to be all uptight
open up relax and enjoy
and who cares?

And...just a little note to myself
Sometimes it's not about who or what surround or happen to me that makes anything worse or better
it's myself.
The attitude I have
could change everything.
Why bother to be unecessary sensitive?
I am more than pleased with myself and my life.
feeling delighted
will keep my chin up
and be positive and cheerful all the time.

2009年10月15日 星期四

我沒差

人與人之間本來就糾纏不清
的確是
就像很多事 我跟本懶得去care
but i have to at certain point
嘗試著 不針對 任何人事物 做任何的負面判斷
a big chunk of it is that i really can not care less
From my point of view, friend is for someone who is lonely and seeking for supports
and of course, we are all that naive.
Right?

2009年10月13日 星期二

a night with green tea

3:30 am
the freezing air and the sudden urge to food
woke me up
rushed myself into the kitchen
Grabbed the half-way-cold double cheese burger
got myself a hot green tea
another cold night
I found myself with
the warmness, the urge, the eager, the desperation, ..
pulling me back and forth
not so much the physical hunger kept me awake
but the intolerable inner needs.

2009年10月9日 星期五

hi again, chaos

Lately, my emotions have been in a state of ChaOs...
I dont even bother to feel defensive anymore.
it comes and goes, and i watch it happens and convince myself that i enjoy the ride.

2009年10月8日 星期四

2009年10月5日 星期一

superior attitude

4:25 am
i feel extremely superior
in a Bloody GOOD mood
That was like a boost for my energy and alive soul
i mean, seriously,
i sense that the BEST is YET to COME!!!!
YES!!!!

2009年10月2日 星期五

sinking

i tried to convince myself that I cant care LESS
I tried
But feeling no better, still see myself sinking

sinking sinking and sinking

maybe i should stop blaming on bad fortune
why dont I just face the truth of myself being a pretentious yet drained rat.
mindless, shallow, fickle, dull,...
always feeling inferior of myself

sorry, Christine, i feel pathetic for you.
and please
can you stop falling apart?

2009年10月1日 星期四