Last Saturday night

Isn't it

Perhaps uncertainty has accompanied me for too long, what's going to happen next? What's the next step? 

Hardly matters.

Because I still need to move forward withoutI having a bloody clue,

Might as well, live with it in peace, stop being so dramatic, up n down only tortures my spirit n suck my energy out, KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

Because everything is going to eventually fall into its place, isn't it.

Frown

I don't know why I'm feeling so OUTSIDER.

It's just like feeling so awkwardly uncomfortable like an anti-social person.

I can't even manage to put up a fake smile, nor act as enjoying myself.

I am so tired.

I hate to be at somewhere that there are so many people without many familiar faces.

Whatever I just don't care anymore

I feel foolish to feel bad for him

Srly, I'm just too tired to deal with his non sense anymore

I feel completely exhausted by my work n my own personal on hand issue

Mentally destructive 

When can I ever draw an end to these two things 

When....

WHEEEEEEEEEN

Whom am I kidding

Seriously, who am I trying to lie to?

Myself?

Because I can hardly delude myself anymore. And I just hate to admit it.

In almost every field, I came to realize now and then between sober and wasted, I know by my heart that there is not one single thing I'm satisfied with in my life at the moment, perhaps only the weight loss part I'm happy with, but beside that, my career path, my current work transition process, my love life, my future, and not to mention, my financial status, everything just doesn't seem to be on the right track.

I feel like I'm lost.

The only thing I'm certain of is indulging alcohol no longer makes me happy, no longer an escape of the reality. 

I need the courage and faith to face this bloody ugly yet brutal reality.

Grouchy

I feel extremely grouchy lately

I just don't have patience for absolutely anything 

I'm gonna explode soon

Filthy potato chips

I decided to cut down on alcohol 

Frankly speaking, i had been drinking too much 

Also the potato chips and online stream movie are certainly not too helpful

I'm sure there is better activity to kill the boredom n depression

I need to stay sober to move forward.

Don't care about how, just do it 

Orange get together

Upset

I just know that he's just someone that fills the gap.

It's sad.

Truly.

Just Wait there

Sitting alone by the glass window facing towards the view of Taipei in flog

My only accompanies are a glass of Chardonnay, a plate of almonds, and an old fashioned candle

It starts to depress me when the question of why am I sitting here alone waiting...hits me

Why am I even here

I'm so exhausted 

Oh wait 

Just because about an hour ago, i got this what's app msg telling me to just wait there

Satisfaction

Now I feel satisfied, my wonderful snack selection:D

Pouring Thursday

already sad as it is to have a heavily raining holiday, and on top of this, I must go all the way in this nasty weather to return the wig n DVD. But the worst of all, is going to work tomorrow when i should deserve 4days-in-a-roll holidays like everybody else. God damn it And....i need to get my lazy ass up from the bed within the next 5 min to deal with my dirty laundry.

剔牙

no one could hurt you unless you let them to

i came to realize that my current job was the cause of my faded away passion for fashion
it was the right decision to leave
i follow my heart
it could be a job that millions of girls die for to have

but at the end
all i can see is full of greedy and unappreciated faces saying things that r full of Sh*t
Whom took me for granted without giving me the credit

it truly depresses me.
all the shouts, the crucial disappointing look, the frown, the unspoken disapproval, the downgraded position, and negative comments made me fear and hate this job

Only i know that it is unfair.
I had devoted myself to do all these things to try to reach the expectation, but turns out, all i have gotten is negative comment and false accusation.

but it was a great experience. I've learned a lot from it. Truly.  

Ridiculously funny

Some people are just so full of themselves without any solid ability or experience, so foolish...

U can't even tell if she's qualified or not, it just indicates how foolish you are.

So insanely funny, how a person could be so arrogant and act so stupid without knowing the consequence.

Oh well, you are just making a big fool of yourself.

Anyways I'm off the hook.

U can keep being stupid all you want, it's no longer my responsibility.

It's not gonna be my loss.

There will be a price for you to pay at the end 

Lets just wait and see how badly you gonna mess this up

I'm so done with your full of sh#t, ciao!

Happily ever after

Congrats ANGELICA!!

I wish you all the bests and blessings! It was a very sweet n touching wedding, I'm so happy for you that you have found your Mr.Right. I wish you live happily ever after with your prince!

9/4/2013

That's it.

I'm alone again.

All by myself.

Haha it's better coz I'm sick of deluding myself.

F u all

I would rather remain naive

Srly u r not worthy for me to do all the pretending n gaming

It's your f loss 

Haha we will see

I have my deadline 

I will not compromise 

Just be myself

i wanna feel reborn. 

Be confident and fearless. 

because i know i am capable of. 

i dont want to lie, delude, or convince myself into something not desirable. 

I think that was the last straw.

an honest statement from him,  exactly what i need to draw an end to this. 

I don't regret to any decision i made Ever. 

I act as how i feel. 

Lonely

The speech of his at Red Sky is still on my mind, that night silence was the only response I could manage to have.

Disappointment filled up n I could not think of anything else but feeling hurt.

I'm happy that he's being honest with me, and I know those flaw behaviors of mine ages ago. 

Anyways I guess my point is that I am whom I am and I feel what I feel, if being with someone needs to suppress my own feelings and act as something else, there is really no point to be together.

What is the point to be together if you can't be honest to yourself, act as who you are, and just be transparent without masking yourself. Seriously, already enough masking, faking, n suppressing in life.

I want to be with someone who doesn't ask me to change my character, who could take n accept me as who I am.

BKK vacation

Our 5 days Vacation in BKK is over. It was fun n exhausting. Food is great, drink is cheap, and got some lovely jewelry and loads of snack. 

I wouldn't say it was a perfect vacation that enriches our bonding considering of couple fights n awkwardly silent moments in between. Yet It definitely makes both to wonder if .....