him

I just wanna say that
this may sound disgusting or whatsoever

I want to be with you
i mean physically go to the same home with you

i want to get to cuddle with you, get to see you all the time, get to be with you for most of the time
perhaps it's too much to ask for
considering that we don't either own or afford an our own apt in town

I don't know maybe it has to do with my past
i want to be in the same house with my love one
so that i get to see his lovely face every morning
if not my beloved one, then thats like hell No no.

i wish one day
we would have our own flat
which is decorated by me with cozy-and-modern style with s touch of Retro
In this cozy happy flat, not only has two people who are in love,
but they also have a cute fuzzy doggie whose name is Max.

I would try to entertain my partner(Max's master), cook for him, please him, and laugh with him
we shall laugh, make fun of, inspire, challenge, and make love with each other

I dont know
it sounds too perfect to be true.
It's better we left the story to be continued spontaneously... as it is, and as it will be.
It's not my style to picture something with imaginary expectation.
i only care about my feeling, at this right moment, Now-now.
I only give a damn about what i am certain of.
which is i like him a lot, i wish i could be with him all the time haha.

Why even bother

I don't know why I even bothered to ask

I don't like his response

And it's not like he's ever gonna change his response for his past relationship 

I mean what kind of obstacle was that

Love could solve anything if there is any

What upsets me is that he might like her more than he does towards me

Why didn't you persist if you really liked her that much

Tried to change her parents' perception or whatsoever

So annoying

Your so-called love is so fragile 

Fab Feb 2014

Am I ever gonna be good enough

It seems like i am just not good enough for him
Surely i am having some bad habits that i would like to get rid of myself

I completely agree with those habits are bad 
but what makes me feel down is that the feeling of i am just not good enough 

I want more encouragement
Can you at least give me some credits instead of telling me how terrible i am?
Even Management 101 teaches you that
When you intend to let your employer to know there is certain adjustment she has to make or whatever
you need to tell her how good she is so she knows that
she is NOT completely worthless 

Good life

I have so much to feel good about

Everything 

Thank you God.

Old time new age

28 years had passed by

Another stage 

Same old smile different story

Same old mind with different perspective behind

I try not to draw myself into the darkish grey area

Let's just focus on this very moment

Without letting any memory/experience/stereotype/expectation/judgement/reflection

To interfere with this very pure naive reunion moment

Perhaps it's just me

Perhaps my self-pity, fear, and disappointment at myself

24 years back from that overly happy moment with beloved everyone under the sun in Rome

Til now

Despite the fact that we may outgrow each other 

But

What exactly have I accomplished? 

What's my contribution?

Have I ever made my family proud?