y so serious

why shall i be serious?

for this, that, and that!

when seriousness reach to certain point, it comes along with some unpleasant emotion, furious

and sooner or later, it transfers into something called, disappointment.

i guess i am in a stage of Maturity

when the unexpected sort of no longer shocking me

and know better to hold nothing such as expectations or what-if scenario

like an outsider viewing a dreadful firm called, my life.

so terribly screen written that there is no climax nor anywhere interesting enough to intrigue myself.

just like watching a trashy movie without getting myself with any emotion involvement

the saddest part is

i dont even bother to reach the remote control to switch the channel when i dont even care to know about the ending.

the need 4

got this whim this morning...this sneaky sudden urge...

to go traveling

Virgin island is great,

Vegas is not bad either,

i haven't left New York for almost a year now.

And I have to book to go somewhere tonight.

Seriously, i need it.

leather leather

逆向

可能是因為大姨媽來

情緒再度陷入緊繃

tonight, something made me to Again realized...

I can no longer escape from the reality

no matter how crucial it may seems like

it's not like i could just go ahead crawl into my bed, and hoped everything would be fine tomorrow

the root of this cynical cycle is

i always deceive myself into the theory of " Tomorrow is Another Day."

just to avoid the pain-in-the-ass I may have to overcome

always deny deny and deny

never dare to face it.

but now, I have to.

yeh Being a grownup is a pain in the ass

i hate that i can not forever live in the Wonderland

but i will face it

no matter how pain-in-the-ass it will be

no matter how bothersome it is.

I will overcome it coz i think i am more than capable

Nothing can bring me down!

Nothing at all.

fuzzy

got in my warm UGG boots, and wrapped myself in my furry vintage faux coat
my so-called fuzzy cozy casual outfit that im super comfortable in
but still in a lousy hangover condition from last night
T and I went to Darbar, our favorite Indian restaurant near the house

despite the cold windy night with some light rain on the way there
i admit that for a few seconds my slight headache did give me a downbeat feeling of absolutely empty regard to what happened the night before,
another Fri-nite-lets-get-all-drunk-n-act-nothing-but-stupid weekly routine

but i guess that i cant deny i do have the need for the whole loosen up thing every once a while
nothing to be shame of
it's not quite healthy to be all uptight
open up relax and enjoy
and who cares?

And...just a little note to myself
Sometimes it's not about who or what surround or happen to me that makes anything worse or better
it's myself.
The attitude I have
could change everything.
Why bother to be unecessary sensitive?
I am more than pleased with myself and my life.
feeling delighted
will keep my chin up
and be positive and cheerful all the time.

我沒差

人與人之間本來就糾纏不清

的確是

就像很多事 我跟本懶得去care

but i have to at certain point

嘗試著 不針對 任何人事物 做任何的負面判斷

a big chunk of it is that i really can not care less

From my point of view, friend is for someone who is lonely and seeking for supports

and of course, we are all that naive.

Right?

a night with green tea

3:30 am

the freezing air and the sudden urge to food

woke me up

rushed myself into the kitchen

Grabbed the half-way-cold double cheese burger

got myself a hot green tea

another cold night

I found myself with

the warmness, the urge, the eager, the desperation, ..

pulling me back and forth

not so much the physical hunger kept me awake

but the intolerable inner needs.